Timeline

1966

  • Born in Galveston, Texas on September 1.

1968

  • First radio song heard: “Downtown” by Petula Clark.

1971

  • Made first (and still only) trip to Las Vegas, at age four; parents wanted to see Elvis, but had to settle for Frank Gorshin.

1972

  • First appearance of cable television at home, highlighted by “interactive” channel scrolling local time and temperature in multi-colored strips of text.

1974

  • Saw very first R-rated movie, as parents unable to secure adequate babysitting mistakenly assumed that bringing their young child to a late showing of Blazing Saddles at the drive-in would quickly result in an assist from Mr. Sandman.

1975

  • Won first (and still only) trophy, as member of 2nd Place team in 3rd Grade bowling league.

1977

  • Committed first (and still only) act of school vandalism: writing on the bathroom walls of Travis Elementary with a Marks-A-Lot.

1978

  • Hosted first Super Bowl party, which though sparsely attended by 6th Grade classmates, still ended up a success (thanks to a blowout victory by the Dallas Cowboys over the Denver Broncos).

  • Spent three days as an extra on the set of the film Piranha, at the rate of $15 per day.
  • Had viewing options exponentially expanded by father’s (now painfully one-sided) trade of his full-sized pool table to the local furniture store owner for a $1,000 (MSRP) top-loading RCA VHS VCR, complete with corded remote.

1979

  • Attended the San Antonio Spurs Summer Camp for Slow, Flightless White Boys on the campus of Antonian High School for the second straight summer, as did future Jr. High and High School classmate Rob Thomas, who later went on to tremendous fame as the creator of such beloved TV series as Veronica Mars and Cupid.
  • Got drunk for the first (but definitely NOT only) time, on a six-pack of Mickey’s Big Mouth that the Zarsky brothers “wahooed” (on bicycles, no less) from the neighborhood convenience store (Sac-N-Pac).

1980

  • Drove a car for the first time ever, in the empty parking lot of a Birmingham, Alabama mall (before store hours), thanks to a misguided attempt at bonding by my Grandmother’s third husband (and the one who ended up with the shortest tenure).

1982

  • Was arrested for the first (and still only) time, for trespassing underneath a restaurant that had just been built above the preferred diving spot at our local swimming hole.

1983

  • Completely bombed the SATs, effectively killing any dreams of a collegiate future.
  • Did significantly better on the ACTs, resurrecting those aforementioned dreams just enough to avoid community college.

1984

  • Graduated from San Marcos (TX) High School, with neither honors nor demerits…merely indifference.
  • Deflowered by new skank in town at Five Mile Dam; celebrated with multiple free Big Macs resulting from McDonald’s ill-advised 1984 Olympics U.S. gold medal tie-in.

1985

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  • Stopped by police while trying to break into the San Antonio Zoo to steal elephant dung with pledge brothers as part of fraternity prank; somehow managed to avoid arrest, though not humiliation.

1987

  • Got first computer (a “portable” Kaypro) and printer (ultra-modern dot matrix technology) for Christmas.

1989

  • Graduated from Southwest Texas State University (now minus the “Southwest”) with a B.A. in Political Science (and a minor in Journalism, now known as “Mass Communication”).

1991

  • Got engaged to future wife after whirlwind courtship, which included one particularly memorable night at Devereaux’s.

1992

  • Got married to former fiancee after whirlwind engagement, which included one particularly memorable night at Wurstfest.

1994

  • Moved to Denton, TX to attend graduate school at the University of North Texas.
  • First exposure to e-mail.

1995

  • First child born: IT’S A BOY!
  • First exposure to the internet.

1996

  • Graduated from UNT with a Master’s Degree in Public Administration.

1998

  • Founded “hardliners.com” website for listeners to a popular Dallas-area sports talk radio show.

2001

  • Started posting to the CMJ online bulletin board.

2002

  • Second child born: IT’S A BOY…AGAIN!!!

2004

  • Co-founded Obner.org as replacement for failing CMJ bulletin board.

2007

  • Lost job.
  • Started Son of Dad blog.
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